How do you move through, if "the only way out is through?"

We see the sayings “The only way out is through” and “What we resist persists” - but what do we do with this sage wisdom? How do we lean into discomfort?

The other day I had this sense of “ugh, I’ve been here before” around a relationship. And my initial reaction was to ignore it, to get busy, to make some food, to check social media…avoid it, distract it, numb it. My mind was saying “It’s not that important, focus on something positive instead.” And an icky, unsettled feeling had landed in my gut which I really wanted to go away. And then, while I was noticing the discomfort, there was also an ‘ah-ha,' a knowing, that I can choose differently, that I can disrupt this pattern.

The higher awareness was saying “If you want to break the pattern, lean into the discomfort. Remember, what you resist will persist.”

Oh boy. OK, time to explore.

Leaning into the discomfort when we notice a pattern in our life that is no longer serving us, that is causing us suffering, can look different depending on what approach feels best. At the core, though there is attention and inquiry. Such as:

• Getting curious about what has shown up - What is this here to teach me?

• Getting curious about the old behavior - What need(s) were initially being fulfilled?

• Getting curious about where you want to go from here - How can I meet my needs in a healthy and aligned way?

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So, what did I do?

Following the awareness, I took a pause with some centering breaths and brought my attention to the discomfort that I was noticing.

Then, I checked my calendar and created some time to explore this.

With that sorted, I got out my journal and began asking myself some inquiry questions. I find the process of writing to be a great way to open-up my curiosity and get clear on what is true for me.

Then, when the icky feeling surfaced again a couple of days later, I leaned in some more by scheduling a coaching call with my coach to speak it through and be supported in that powerful safe space.

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Changing our patterns is a process - it can feel uncomfortable and challenging and it is often not linear. There can be an un-learning of the old behavior involved as well. So, please, please, please practice compassion and patience with yourself.

This self-inquiry exploration is an act of positive change and self-love if and when it is done through the lens of kindness.

The old behavior was of value at one time, even if it is only causing harm now. Entering the inquiry process with a critical mindset, harsh language or self-recrimination is the opposite of helpful. In fact, this is essentially resistance - and as the saying goes "What we resist persists." Instead, aim to:

1. Acknowledge and Accept – Notice what is showing up and the discomfort which clues us into what is no longer working

2. Engage Self-Compassion and Kindness Mode – Let go of any judgments or self-criticism

3. Take a Mindful Pause - Connect to your inner wisdom through a mindfulness practice such as breath-work

4. Gently Inquire Within – This can be through journaling, meditation, speaking, drawing, and more

5. Consciously Choose how you would love to move forward

Having support along this journey can help boost your confidence, provide accountability, gain clarity and motivation, and generate momentum for lasting change. So, reach out to a trusted confidant, myself or to another professional at any time.

And celebrate! You are showing up for yourself! This inner-work, the self-inquiry, is extremely valuable.

Let’s move through the discomfort and into our up-leveled, awesome selves!

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If you’re curious about coaching - send me a message, let's connect!

This October we are offering a heart-centered group coaching experience where we will be incorporating mind-body alignment, healing conversations and various somatic practices. This is a great opportunity for those seeking an intimate, supportive, healing community; for those interested in experiencing and learning various tools; and those desiring to be more empowered and aligned with their true self. Space is limited, get in touch today!